Emmys: Jimmy Kimmel Gets Big Laughs as Host, Takes Shots at O.J. and Trump

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ABC/Image Group LA(LOS ANGELES) — As host of the 68th annual Emmy Awards Sunday night, Jimmy Kimmel not only brought the show in under the three-hour mark, but he also got plenty of laughs doing it.

–The show opened with a hilarious sequence in which Kimmel was rushing to get to the Emmys.  First, he was driven in a white Bronco by Malcolm-Jamal Warner, who played A.C. Cowlings in The People v. O.J. Simpson.  After Kimmel told Warner to let him out, he hitched a ride with the cast of Modern Family.  After a smoke bomb went off in their car, he tried to get a ride from a limo that carried Julia Louis-Dreyfus in her Veep character as President Selina Meyer.  He ended up sitting in the front seat with her chauffeur, who was — oddly —  Jeb Bush.  When Bush asked Kimmel if he was nominated, and Kimmel said yes, Bush said, “Wow, what’s THAT like?”

Kimmel then got a ride from James Corden, who threw him out of the car when Kimmel didn’t do a good enough job singing Wham!’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” —  though there was a hilarious dream sequence where he and Corden were dressed as George Michael and Andrew Ridgley from Wham! in the video for that song.  Finally, Kimmel got a ride to the show on the back of one of the dragons from Game of Thrones, which incinerated Ryan Seacrest on the way in.

–Kimmel’s monologue featured jokes about O.J. Simpson, the diversity of this year’s Emmys, the nudity in Game of Thrones and extensive commentary about how producer Mark Burnett is the one “responsible” for Donald Trump, since he also produced The Apprentice.  Kimmel told the British-born producer, “Thank you for coming all the way from England to tear us all apart with your intricate plot: it worked, you sneaky little crumpet-muncher, you!”

–Kimmel also unloaded on Dame Maggie Smith, who has never showed up for any of her Emmy nominations or wins.  When she won later in the night, Kimmel came onstage, grabbed the trophy and said, “No, no, no.  We are not mailing this to her! It’ll be in the lost and found.”

–One of Kimmel’s funniest bits came later on in the show, when he remarked that everyone must be getting hungry since they haven’t eaten “since Labor Day.”  He then brought out the four young stars of the Netflix smash Stranger Things, who distributed brown paper bags of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to everyone in the audience from their bikes. 

–SNL’s Leslie Jones provided yet another funny moment when she poked fun at the hack that saw nude photos of her leak online. When the Ernst & Young accountants came onstage to describe how they keep the winners’ identities a secret, Jones appeared and said, “Y’all protecting something nobody is trying to steal. Don’t nobody want to know about boring Emmy secrets. But since you good at keeping things safe, I got a job for you: My Twitter account. Put that in the vault, please!” She added, “Y’all using your skills to protect ‘Best voiceover on a French sitcom’ — meanwhile, I’m butt naked on CNN!”

–The funniest moment, though, came right after Kimmel lost the Best Variety Talk Series Emmy to John Oliver.  His pretend nemesis, Matt Damon, strolled onstage munching on an apple. “I missed the last category, did you win?” Damon asked.  “No, we didn’t win, all right?” said a ticked-off Kimmel.  “That’s a bummer. It makes a lot of sense…but you must be really bummed out,” cracked Damon.

“This is so humiliating,” Damon continued as Kimmel got more and more agitated. “You lost and now you have to stand out here for the rest of the night in front of everybody when you probably just wanna go home and curl up and cry…you’re a big loser.”

As Damon exited, he had one last parting shot: “Oh! Hey, Jimmy. Tell your mom I liked them apples.”

Kimmel’s one bit that fell flat was when he introduced “four-time Emmy winner, Dr. Bill Cosby.”  The entire audience gasped and looked shocked…but then Cosby didn’t appear.  Kimmel said, “Don’t worry, he’s not really here. I just wanted to see what you guys would do.”

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